It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
