I want to have your abortion
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
