your parents love me but you hate me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize