"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
