Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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