no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
