so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
