I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
