u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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