Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
