is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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