this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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