i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
sex in a hospital.. check
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
