I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
