there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
