Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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