at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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