But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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