week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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