and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
