is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
