the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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