Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize