First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
