dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Are we still banned from the library?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
