our cab driver is having phone sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
