can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
