My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize