Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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