You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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