Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
