Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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