Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
