What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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