this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
