you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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