Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
