My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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