He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
