i don't like sucking hair
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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