dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
