I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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