Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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