i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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