just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
