when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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