I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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