The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
