Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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