Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
