I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
