I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
