Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
