Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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