so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why do cheetos always look like penises
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
