New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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