Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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