So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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