ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
