Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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