I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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